Writing Matters

"Plain language is a civil right..."

And with those stirring words, Annetta Cheek, chair of the Center for Plain Language, kicked off last week's 2009 Plain Language Symposium.  And the stirring words about the need for clarity in writing continued throughout the event. Here are some of my favorite quotable quotes from the Symposium:

• "Don't make readers wander through the crap in your mind," advised Karl Gude (currently an instructor at Michigan State's University School of Journalism, formerly Newsweek's graphics director) during his talk "Understanding through visualization."
• "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough," said Albert Einstein who wasn't actually at the Symposium but was quoted several times by presenters.
• The absence of plain language "...keeps citizens from getting the government benefits and services they're entitled to," said Congressman Bruce Braley (D. Iowa), sponsor of The Plain Language Act of 2009. Braley cited the hot-off-the-press Washington Post article, "Time for a plain language revolution," which leads with a pretty good line of its own: "Sometimes Uncle Sam sounds like he has marbles in his mouth."
• "Some people think clear and conspicuous is just a pair of desperate modifiers in search of a noun," said Karen Schriver of KSA Communication Design & Research during her talk "Clear and conspicuous: Designing content visually."

From Ginny Redish of Redish & Associates, a wonderful download instead of a quotable quote. Ginny's excellent Symposium presentation, "Plain language makes a difference when people vote," summarized the results of the usability research she's done for the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) related to the 2002 Help America Vote Act. You can download the report she prepared for NIST: "Review of the gap between instructions for voting and best practice in providing instructions." "But I don't need to know how to write instructions for voting," you might argue. Download Ginny's research report anyway:

• it's loaded with common sense, research-tested advice about how to write usable instructions
• it's illustrated with examples of how the instructions should be written
• you can use it as a model document which demonstrates how to write about research in clear, engaging, plain language

I attended the Center for Plain Language's Symposium last year and provided links to some of the 2008 presentations. As soon as this year's presentations are available, I'll let you know.

-- Leslie O'Flahavan

Research Report: Old Writing Rules Apply to New Social Media

While updating our web writing courses, I've been scouring usability research to find new studies that apply to web writing. The findings from two separate research studies from the Software Usability Research Laboratory (SURL) at Wichita State University remind me that old web writing guidelines apply to new media—social networking sites. Both studies flagged common writing issues—confusing and unfamiliar terminology, and inadequate user feedback and error messages—as problems that harm usability.

1. Usability Evaluation of Three Social Networking Sites. The study evaluated the usability of MySpace, Facebook, and Orkut. Users completed 10 tasks for each site, including adding new information to a profile, making a photo album, and changing notification options for messages. Users rated the difficulty of each task and their satisfaction with each site.
2. Trick or Tweet: How Usable is Twitter for First-Time Users? Users performed eight tasks on Twitter, including creating an account, posting a tweet, and responding to a tweet. Users rated the ease of use and their satisfaction with the site. 

Confusing and Unfamiliar Terminology
SURL researchers found that inconsistencies in link terminology resulted in users' failure to complete tasks. For example, My Space uses the Term “My Account” as a link. But clicking on the link brought up a page with the heading “Settings.” 

Users were confused by unfamiliar terms. MySpace users clicked on “Photo Cube” expecting to make a photo album. They found that “Photo Cube” is a function that allows users to print photos. Twitter users were unclear about whether to use “Profile” or “Setting” to edit their information.

Not surprisingly, most new users “had difficulty learning the ‘language’ that was unique to Twitter.” What was the difference between followers and following? Users were confused about Twitter-unique terms such as “RT” (retweet) for reposting a message from another user, the use of @symbols to indicate usernames in tweets, and the use of hashtags (#) to indicate topic tags for messages.

Twitter language proved so confusing that users had very poor success rates in some tasks: Only 15.4% were successful in sending a message and only 38.5% were successful in replying to messages. Users concluded that Twitter was “complex and felt they would need to learn quite a bit before using it.” Participants reported that "they would not use the service often.”

Poor Feedback and Unhelpful Error Messages
Poor feedback and unhelpful error messages also contributed to the failure of social network users to complete tasks. MySpace provided a poor error message to users who forgot to give their photo albums a name. Twitter users often weren’t sure whether they had successfully completed a task  such as sending a message. They were looking for feedback, a completion message or visual confirmation—an icon or a change in font color—to confirm their success.

Tips for Applying the Research to Your Writing
The studies’ usability findings are specific to social networking sites. But applying the recommendations to your writing will improve the usability and user satisfaction for both traditional and new media websites. 

• Use terms consistently. Don’t change language mid-stream. For example, is “editing” a profile the same as “updating” a profile? If so, choose one term and use it throughout the site. Consistency is especially important for links because the repetition of link language assures users that they’ve landed on the correct page. If users click “My Account,” the landing page should be labeled “My Account” not ‘Setting.”
• Use plain and intuitive language. The link “print photos” is more intuitive than “photo cube.”
• Explain new terms. You may think a term is self-explanatory, but first-time users may not know your language: tweets, followers, following, photo cube, wall. Provide a brief explanation of terms when users encounter them or link to a glossary.
• Provide helpful feedback and useful error messages. Provide confirmation messages to users: “You have successfully added photos to your album.” Write error messages that explain why the user failed. “Your user name and password do not match” is more helpful than “login failed.”

--Marilynne Rudick

World Usability Day Offer: Free Plain Language Consult, Training, Resources from Webcontent.gov

The folks at Webcontent.gov really know how to celebrate World Usability Day, which falls this year on November 12, 2009. It won't be just another stale-donuts-in-the-conference-room party, no sirree. For this year's World Usability Day, Webcontent.gov has a great free offer for all you web managers and usability analysts:

Build your Plain Language skills and celebrate the sustaining power of Usability + Plain Language on Thursday, November 12, 2009 at this year’s World Usability Day!

• Sign up for a FREE “mini-consultation” by phone with a usability or plain language expert to improve your government webpage or document
• Register to attend a FREE in-person plain language training on Nov. 12  in Washington, DC near Union Station
• Use our Plain Language + Usability Resource Kit to conduct a World Usability Day activity at your agency

Register and find more information at World Usability Day 2009 on Webcontent.gov

With questions, contact Nicole Burton, Usability Specialist at nicole.burton@gsa.gov

-- Leslie O'Flahavan

Five Grammar "Rules" That Beg To Be Broken

For those of us who were actually taught grammar in school, we have stored in our long-term memory a list of unbreakable grammar rules. Usually they start with never. Often we remember the rule, but we don’t actually remember why it’s a rule. And guess what: some of the nevers never were grammar rules. They are grammar myths passed down from English teacher to English teacher to your boss.

Here are my top five grammar “rules” begging to be broken.

1.   Never end a sentence with a preposition. Because grammar rules exist to enhance clarity, it’s hard to see why this rule persists. Here’s an example of a clear sentence that ends in the preposition from and the tortured sentence that results from trying to avoid ending the sentence with a preposition:

• I have no idea of where this rule came from.
• I have no idea from where this rule came.
  [Example is from Michelle Pierce’s Copyblogger post]
  

2.   Never start a sentence with a conjunction: and, but, so, nor, or. This rule is strictly a grammar myth. The Chicago Manual of Style states that there is no historical or grammatical foundation for this rule. On the other hand, Chicago points out that there’s no guarantee that starting a sentence with a conjunction improves the sentence. “But the alternative—enforcing a baseless restriction—probably doesn’t help.”

3.    Never split an infinitive.  First off, what’s an infinitive? An infinitive is a form of a verb preceded by the word to: to go, to run, to shop. Splitting an infinitive means inserting a word or phrase between to and the verb.  Nobody quite knows the origin of this rule against splitting an infinitive. (Latin? Old English?)  But nearly everyone agrees it’s obsolete. Here's an example of a split and an un-split infinitive.

• Split infinitive:  I decided to quickly look for a new job. 
• Un-split infinitive: I decided to look for a new job quickly.

4.    Never use the passive voice. Although almost everyone knows this rule, many people don’t really know what passive voice is. (It is not the same as past tense.) It’s okay—even preferable—to use the passive voice when you want to emphasize the action rather than the actor. Mistakes were made by John emphasizes the mistakes rather than the actor—John—who made the mistakes. Sometimes the actor is excluded entirely: Mistakes were made. Using the active voice, John made mistakes, clearly points the finger at John. 

5.    Never write a one-sentence paragraph. Most paragraphs contain more than one sentence. That’s because it usually takes more than one sentence to completely express an idea. But sometimes one sentence does the job. There is no need for additional window dressing. A one-sentence paragraph stands out like a neon sign. For example:

If you do not pay this fine within ten days, a warrant may be issued for your arrest.

Do you have a nominee for a grammar rule to break? Post a comment or e-mail it to me, and I'll include it in subsequent posts. And coming soon: Rules of Grammar You Can’t Break.

--Marilynne Rudick

Rumor Central: A Gossip-Quelling Blog from Missouri's Retirement System

After my recent web writing presentation at the National Association of Government Communicators' annual Communications School in Orlando, Candy Smith, Communications Supervisor for the Missouri State Employees' Retirement System (MOSERS), asked me to take a look at her organization's blog. Now, I must admit that I didn't expect fascinating reading at a state retirement system's blog, so when Candy told me the blog's name, Rumor Central, I was intrigued. Candy explained that MOSERS uses Rumor Central to squash rumors about changes to retirement benefits and insurance, etc., rumors that flourish during the January - May legislative session.

Rumor Central posts are straightforward but not straitlaced. They provide answers to questions such as:

• Were any of our retirement funds invested with Madoff?
• I read an article on CNN that said Missouri was one of the states losing money in investments in the retirement system. What does this mean to us as state employees?
  

In a follow-up call with Candy, Krista Myer (communications manager), and Scott Simon (benefit services section manager), I learned that Rumor Central successfully counters incorrect information in the rumor-sphere with an authoritative, accurate response. It also helps MOSERS cope with high call and e-mail volume in their contact center. Simon estimated that in 2005-6 MOSERS' contact center handled 2000 e-mails per year, but in 2008 e-mail volume shot up to 8000. 

When it launched in 2005, Rumor Central wasn't a blog; it was just web content. But as the content grew, it became unwieldy and impossible to search. Pulling the content into Blogger provided a custom search engine and allowed MOSERS to tag posts. And while the communications team may reopen the discussion of whether to allow comments (currently, Rumor Central doesn't accept comments on posts), they are confident that Rumor Central is serving its purpose. It provides access and accurate information to a wide group of people, and it helps people see MOSERS as forthright and real.

Want us to tell your blog's story? Get in touch, and we'd be glad to feature you in an upcoming post.

-- Leslie O'Flahavan

The Best Ever Customer Service E-Mail

As I was writing a recent post on hyphens, I noticed that the font on the TypePad edit screen kept getting smaller. Soon my nose was inches from the monitor as I tried to make out almost infinitesimal type. Since the small type was only on this one edit screen—all other web pages and documents looked fine—I assumed it was a TypePad problem. I dashed off an e-mail to TypePad asking how to fix the problem with the font size.

The reply from Kymberlie was the best customer service e-mail that I’ve received. Read on to find out why!

From:    typepadsixapart.com
Sent:    Tuesday, March 10, 2009 10:40 PM
To:    Marilynne@ewriteonline.com
Subject: Response to TypePad ticket ‘font size’

Hi Marilynne,

Thanks for the note, but when I view your weblog, I am able to see it without any problems:
http://clip2net.com/page/m0/703755

It sounds like the font sizes have changed within your web browser's settings.  You may want to look through its option and see if there is a way to reset it to the default.

Alternatively, if you have a mouse with a wheel, you can hold down the CTRL button and scroll up or down to decrease or increase your font size (this works on both of the wheel mice I have, though it may depend on your type of mouse).

I hope this helps.  Please let us know if there is anything else we can do for you.

Thanks,
Kymberlie

PS  I really enjoyed your post on hyphens!  :-)

To view this ticket, click on the following link: https://www.typepad.com/account/help/tickets/6i01127945899528a4/view

Why was it the best e-mail ever? 
For starters, it met all of the criteria for great customer service e-mail in our Checklist: Ten Traits of a Great Customer Service E-Mail. We developed this checklist  for our Clear, Correct, Concise E-Mail workbook. Kymberlie's e-mail inspired me to add an additional trait (see #11 below) for going above and beyond.

Checklist:  Eleven Traits of a Great Customer Service E-Mail

1. Use a helpful subject line.
   The subject line summarized the problem I was having—font size—and let me know that it was a response from TypePad to my help request.
2. Respond promptly.
   Within 12 hours.
   
   
3. Personalize the response.
   Here Kymberlie excelled. She used my name—and spelled it correctly! She showed me that she had personally looked into the problem. (When I view your weblog, I am able to see it without any problems.)
4. Answer all the customer's questions.
   
   
5. Make it possible for the customer to take action.
   
   
6. Solve the customer's problem.
   She was right about font size being a browser issue and provided two possible fixes—including ones she had tried herself.
7. Use a polite, positive, personal tone.
   Her opening (Thanks for your note) set the tone. She used personal pronouns throughout (I, you). Her tone was conversational (It sounds like… You may want to look through… ). The closing (I hope this helps) reinforced the tone.
8. Write clearly and simply.
   She used plain language to explain several possible solutions.
9. Proofread for mechanical errors.
   Not proofreader-perfect, but no glaring spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors.
10. Make it easy for the customer to contact you.
    She provided a link to the trouble ticket form with a text block for a response. The form—which includes the entire communication thread—means you won’t have to start over if you need further help.
    
    And #11—which made it the best ever!
11. Make the customer feel great!
    PS  I really enjoyed your post on hyphens!  :-)

--Marilynne Rudick

For more of our advice on writing customer service e-mail, take a look at:

• Clear, Correct, Concise E-Mail: A Writing Workbook for Customer Service Agents
• Sampler of Customer DIS-Service E-Mail
• Answering E-Mail from Angry Customers: How to Turn Furious People into Fans
• Our blog posts on customer service e-mail, including E-Mail from Orbitz: Four Kinds of Bad

Job Application Language: Choose VERY Carefully

I recently served as a "hired reader." I had a consulting gig as the subject matter expert hired to review application packets for a high-level Communications Director position.  I read and scored the three required essay questions applicants answered to apply for the job. (Applicants also submitted a cover letter and resume.)

I read more than 6o sets of essay questions.  My friends, I read some bad writing.  The worst of the writing was a special type of job-application bad:  overly general, hyperbolic, and loaded with vague wiggle words.  After reading all those essays, I've deemed the word very to be the worst of the wiggle words.

Here are some gems of very misuse drawn from the application essays:

• "very literally... " As opposed to kinda literally?
• "very strong resistance..." Is this measurably stronger than mere strong resistance?
• "a very controversial issue..."  No very is necessary here. Controversial is a specific, clear word which requires no very.
• "a very significant challenge..." See very strong resistance and very controversial issue.
• "the company's very first records management system..." First is first, and very can't make it any stronger.
• "I worked with very disparate people... ." Perhaps that's why you're leaving your job?
• "in this large very diverse organization..." Only appropriate if you work for the United Nations.

And the list of unnecessary very's goes on:

• "I would take a very serious look at ..."
• "I work very closely with the Director... ."
• "The company president became very engaged in..."
• "completed on a very tight schedule..."
• "the approach very clearly allows..."
• I produced five products on a very compressed timeline... ."

But I don't want to appear bitter. Some of the essays were excellent. (And in this job market, they'd better be!) Here's what the high scorers did well:

• Answered the essay question directly.  This is a writing skill we've all been practicing since fifth grade. If the question asks you how you've overcome obstacles to achieve success, you must mention the obstacles, what you did to overcome them, and how you achieved success.  Seems obvious, but lots of applicants missed this.
• Provided examples.  Application writing is full of claims.  To make these claims convincing, the good writers included examples. So when you claim you have project management experience, give at least one specific, compelling example.
• Proofread. The good writers made sure their writing was free of errors.  But in addition to committing very abuse, the bad writers' essays contained bad spelling and grammar, typos, and sentences that didn't make sense.  Several people even used lowercase i to refer to themselves as in "In addition, i have extensive experience with ..." 

-- Leslie O'Flahavan

Word Slippage: Just Plain Folks NOT!

I'm a big proponent of plain language. Don't say we acknowledge receipt of when we received will do. Use taxes instead of  revenue enhancements. But there’s a difference between using a simpler, plainer word in place of an inflated word or phrase and using a simple, plain word incorrectly. What’s got my dander up is the use of  folks to describe any group of people—including alleged terrorists.

It seems to have started with George W. Bush: "The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq are the ones who attacked us on Sept. 11." It set my teeth on edge. But we are used to Bush mangling language (and facts!).

But Barack Obama—a wordsmith—seems to have adopted folks, too. He said about closing Guantanamo: “Part of the challenge. . . is that you have a bunch of folks that have been detained, many of whom may be very dangerous. . . .” It’s like the squeal of chalk on a blackboard. 

Terrorist and detainees are not folks. The American Heritage Dictionary  gives this definition of folks: “The common people of a society or region considered as the representatives of a traditional way of life and especially as the originators or carriers of the customs, beliefs, and arts that make up a distinctive culture.” And it defines the idiom just folks as “down-to-earth, open-hearted.” I doubt that even the lawyers defending Guantanamo detainees would describe them as open-hearted. 

Besides, when I hear folks I think of Loony Toons and Porky Pig’s signature closing: "Th-th-th-that's all folks!"

So, that’s my final word on folks. Or as Bugs Bunny would say "And dat's de end!"
--Marilynne Rudick

Plain Language Success Stories: Presentations from the 2008 Symposium

Are you an advocate for clarity and simplicity in writing?  At work, are you the lone voice championing jargon-free writing that meets readers' needs? Do you need ammunition to wield in editorial wars? Then download the presentations from the Center for Plain Language's 2008 Symposium.  I attended the event last November, and here's a short list of the presentations I liked:

• Download Susan Kleimann's presentation on her company's rewrite of HUD's Good Faith Estimate form.  Compare the before-and-after versions of the form and learn how the plain language re-do "... will save each consumer $700 at settlement."

• Learn how Josiah Fisk of Firehouse Financial used simple language and sophisticated humor to develop a successful internal communications campaign to ensure ethical behavior and compliance with security regulations at financial services firms. I know - there's hardly a less funny topic than complying with security regulations, but this communications campaign worked: "Once-skeptical executives ordered framed copies of favorite headlines for office walls."
• Read the research of Deborah Bosley of the Plain Language Group. Her work involved a plain language rewrite of the Minimum Distribution letter (federal tax requirement) that  TIAA-CREF sent to customers who are age 70-and-a-half.  Customers found the original letter confusing and scary.  Their confusion caused them to contact TIAA-CREF in large numbers. Bosley's plain language rewrite featured minimal legal language and ample offers of guidance and support.

Interested in plain language? Check out a previous post, Plain Language in Practice: Writing for the Web.

-- Leslie O'Flahavan

Plain language in practice: Writing for the Web

I'll be presenting a Web Manager University webinar today on the topic of plain language in web writing.  The topic doesn't require a hard sell.  Essentially, I'll be saying that because reading online presents many challenges, users need content that's written in plain, clear, and familiar language.

I came across many wonderful resources while developing the webinar, and I hope these links help you write content "... your audience can understand the first time they read ... it."

Plain language organizations:

• Plain Language Action and Information Network (PLAIN)
• Center for Plain Language
• Plain Language Association INternational
• Usability.gov
• Clarity - international association promoting plain legal language

Plain language before-and-after examples:

• Florida Department of Children and Families
• Home Equity Loan Contracts (Texas Office of Consumer Credit Commissioner)
• Government before-and-afters at Plainlanguage.gov
• Moving to Plain Language Disclosure
• Letters and policies from Washington State

Plain language guidelines:

• Federal Plain Language Guidelines
• Easy-to-Read NYC
• Plain Language - Making HIPAA Privacy Notices More Readable (Health Resources and Services Administration)
• Guidelines from NIH’s Plain Language Initiative
• FAA’s videos on plain language
• Governor’s Plain Language Handbook (Florida)
• Making Regulations Readable (Federal Register)
• Plain English Handbook (SEC)
• FAA Writing Standards
• Plain Language Guidelines (Oklahoma Department of Human Services)
• Writing to Customers in Plain Talk (Washington State)

-- Leslie O'Flahavan